Friday, January 10, 2014

What's with all the waiting in wedding planning?

Another thing people don't tell you about wedding planning is all the waiting. Maybe it's because of getting engaged shortly before Thanksgiving, which was followed by the holidays and meant people were too busy or on vacation, but there has been a lot more waiting on vendors than I'd like. Waiting for caterers to get back to me. Waiting two months to bring my vintage dress options to a tailor. Waiting a month to find out an invitation designer cost more than I hoped. And so on. People ask me how the planning is going, and my response has often been that it's not going anywhere.

For example, it took us a few weeks longer to decide our wedding date than it should have because I wanted to actually hear back on the affordability of the caterers available on that date.

The word I would describe for reaching out to caterers is annoying. They all get back to you at different rates. Some responded right away by ignoring what I asked for and just sending me their standard package. Some responded in what I would consider a normal and considerate fashion. Some were able to give me a general ballpark over the phone when I described what I wanted, and some said they needed two weeks to work it out. Some would call and say they were too busy because of the holidays and we'd have to talk again in another week, when the same thing would happen. Also, having a conversation that should take place over a phone but is instead spaced out one question at a time by one email a week is not an effective way to communicate. I feel obliged to perform and respond so quickly at work and in my fast-paced life that it's hard for me to relate to this. I don't understand how many of these caterers actually book gigs.

One thing I learned about myself in 2013 is that I do not like waiting. I want to come up with a plan and then take action. When given too much time to wait, I just start running in circles. What if the caterer recommended to me is out of my price range? Let me keep looking and reaching out to more caterers - which ended up being a waste of time when I found out a month later that said caterer was extremely affordable. What if the vintage dresses don't work out? Let me look at all the wedding dresses on the internet and try all the dresses in stores on. And so on.

We hired our photographer the same night we met with her after looking at only a few photography websites. Bam. I was so relieved to actually be able to check something off the list without putting way too much thought and time into it like with everything else.

So, I guess the moral is that November and December are bad times to actually start planning weddings. But has anyone else come across these issues regardless of the time of year? Or maybe the moral is that I'm supposed to learn patience, but the waiting is frustrating when one is trying to plan a wedding in seven months.


  1. ahhh, that sucks :(

    I also found that when planning and speaking with vendors, since I wanted something more laid back and different it was difficult to get vendors to "LISTEN" to what I wanted... they always came back with: "Well when you choose your colours you'll let us know" or "Yeah you say that NOW you don't care, but generally brides DO care" or the condescending way I was treated as soon as I mentioned I was a "bride". Bah.

    anyhoo, hopefully things will pick up for you now that the holidays are over!!

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  3. Unrelated to the waiting issue, but have you checked out A Practical Wedding (.com)? It's a great blog. Totally worth checking out.

  4. Anonymous - yes, A Practical Wedding is one of my favorite blogs. I've been reading it regularly since the year she started writing it, and recommend it to everyone who likes to think about relationships and life, not just weddings.

  5. You only have to spend weeks and months waiting if you choose your wedding to have those types of complexities. I'm getting married next month and got everything arranged in two months' time because we chose simplicity :)

    (my story over at and I also highly recommend the website Offbeat Bride for creative ideas).

  6. EcoGrrl - yes, that's true. But we got engaged in November and really wanted a summer wedding! I will totally check out your wedding stuff later tonight. Thanks!

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